I live by the beach and this little guy just popped by for a visit
EXCUSE ME
Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord, Poseidon?
(Source: ryulongd)
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(Source: weheartit.com)
They had never met before, but decided to hug it out in the middle of an airport terminal.
(Source: 9gag)
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year is 2392
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child:
mommy i can't sleep
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mother:
don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
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mother:
WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP, I GOT A BIG COCK
Do you ever just feel like Ted Mosby?
Because i do.
This is perfect
Anyone complain about a girl with short hair is an idiot there are girls that REALLY look AMAZING with short hair
(Source: angblack666)
ACTING
WHEN THIS GUY:
IS ACTUALLY PLAYED BY THIS GUY:
people who are already out of school
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Mum:
Why is your suit downstairs?
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Me:
Because I was pretending to be James Bond last night.
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Mum:
[bursts into laughter]
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Me:
What?!
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Mum:
[still laughing]
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Mum:
How old are you again?
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Me:
NEVER TOO OLD TO WANT TO BE A BADASS SECRET AGENT
One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s
they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”
WHAT I DONT GET IS WHY PEOPLE TURN OUT TO BE MURDERERS AND STUFF WHEN THEY COULD BE MAKING PEOPLE SMILE AND LAUGH WTF THATS PROBABLY THE MOST SATISFYING THING IN THE WORLD WHY WOULD YOU PASS THAT UP FOR KILLING PEOPLE
Clearly you’ve never had the pleasure of watching the fear in mans eyes as the life flees the wreckage of his body.
i am going to call the police
(Source: matheusw)
